Adapting the Time Out
Posted on November 5, 2019 by dragonspitapothecary
Adults and children have a challenge with time outs. It’s a challenge for us to stop, think about our actions and make sure we are doing what is right. The premise of a time out being we are either going down a path that is not good for us or we have no idea where we are going and need to get a plan. It is a time for reassessment of our actions, approaches and aligning to what is best for us. Doing this is not the hard part but rather forcing ourselves intentionally to do it when it’s necessary is the challenge.
We used time out with our son when he was younger. For children this is seen as a way for them to reflect on behaviors and actions that are not desirable and give them a chance to think about that and what they should have done instead. I think the same premise works for adults. Sometimes taking that much needed time out to assess what we’re doing, where we’re going and how we’re getting there needs to be revisited to make sure it is healthy and good for us.
Very often though adult time out looks like a spa day, girls trip or other activity that doesn’t leave much in the way of actually reflecting, reassessing and realigning our path. Instead it is a distraction to release stress and have fun, which are also good for us but can leave us without a strategy for how to proceed on our journey afterwards. Giving ourselves a break to let off some steam can renew our energy but what if we renewed ourselves AND had a strong plan of action to execute?
The Original Girls Trip
Long before there were girl trips and movies about girl trip adventures gone awry, there were villages where families lived closely together. Women in these villages worked shoulder to shoulder completing tasks needed to support their families and the larger village’s needs. They raised their children together and found camaraderie and friendship in these daily rituals. They relied on one another for support when things were challenging personally and in work. They encouraged one another through major life events like courtships, marriages, deaths and births. They were there for each other mentoring and guiding younger women to pass down their wisdom.
Today, most women do not have the level of connection or relationships that were once enjoyed and cherished by village living women. We have smaller circles of friends and some of us have very little friends we consider best friends. We move mostly alone and feeling isolated when things happen in our lives. We are skeptical of other women and find it challenging sometimes to be open and trusting of new women that come into our lives. Much of this has to do with our society changes that put us in competition with one another constantly as well as pressure to look a certain way. If you don’t fit into these parameters and are seen as different it can be even more challenging to make and keep close friends. Yet our need is still there to find and establish these types of relationships with one another and build that sense of community with other women.
The girls trip is often as close as we can get to those village level communities of women. These adventures can be soulful, impactful and just plain fun. We enjoy pure bliss of being with women we adore to share, laugh and do girl things away from our roles of being a wife, mom, employee and business owner. As women we share a lot of information between us and get that healthy dose of encouragement that only another woman can give us. It’s empowering, encouraging, and educational. We leave these adventures feeling renewed, energized and connected in what we shared.
The benefits of being with women on a girls trip and together as a community is growing in popularity and several new studies say spending time in the company of other women has the ability to provide some much needed emotional well-being support for us. These quick getaways don’t have to be more than just partying and fun to realize the benefits but when we add in something intentional and purpose filled we can actually impact our emotional health on a much deeper level. This gives us that sense of community that our ancestral women friends once enjoyed every day.
Taking a Time Out
Getting a group of women together even for an afternoon can be refreshing and give us that quick hit of community our souls crave. This can be a simple get together with casual friends just to see how it goes. The beauty of doing this is it can be an opening for those deeper long term connections that lead into a circle of sisters we can have a community with ongoing.
There are also a growing number of women only retreats that focus on special topics and interests of women that are well worth using as a way to meet new people, foster connection and have that community experience. This is ideal if you aren’t sure you need this in your life and want to test the waters first or if you’re looking for ways to meet new people with common interests. There are retreats for yoga, soul work, emotional healing, and more all across the country.
Our own intimidation about entering a new space by ourselves with women we don’t know is often what can hold us back from taking advantage of these opportunities. Women by nature don’t like going to places by themselves where they are with strangers as we often think we will feel left out or not fit in. We feel better when there is someone we know there with us. However, I want to encourage you to step out from that fear and just be open to the opportunities as they come and the possibility you could actually meet some incredible women.
As I’ve gotten older the intimidation of going somewhere new by myself like this has lessened but I still feel that anxiety creep up especially when it’s a new experience and I don’t know anyone else that will be there. It is uncomfortable and can take some time to feel your way through how to meet someone new. Yet when I allowed myself to do it I ended up meeting at least a couple people that I am not deeply connected with and have come to be very important to me both personally and professionally. All it took was being willing to try.
Support
My secret for making this a little less intimidating is to pull out some natural support. When I have that opportunity to meet new people in a group or go somewhere by myself I will use some doTERRA Passion or Motivate oil on my neck and wrists. Not only are these beautiful to use as perfume but aromatically they provide that courage and confidence that I need. I have also comforted myself with saying I can leave whenever I want if it doesn’t feel good or I’m not truly connecting with the group or activity. However, entering that space with an openess and willingness and having some emotional support upfront has made it more doable.
Take a time out for yourself this season and connect with some fellow women. You’ll be amazed at how much we instantly can connect on and develop that community to help us each feel better.
If you would like to learn more please visit my website and explore! There is a ton of information to help you live more naturally on your terms and follow a journey that is intentionally right for you.