Completing the Look

I go into every weekend with all the things I want to accomplish. Get the house in order. Do all the laundry. Spend some time at my sewing machine. Work in the yard. You name it and I’ve probably got it on this large list of weekend get it done things. I would love to have every single one of those things done too because this isn’t just a wish list. you know. It’s about the perfect 5 minutes when your house is pristine and you take that nice breathe deep in appreciation. You know it will not last but you relish that brief moment of how pretty it can all look. That’s my goal every weekend. That 5 minute appreciation and wow does this look great sensation.

I start out very ambitious about my weekend list by about Wednesday of my work week mostly because I’m ready to move. I’m tired of sitting in meetings, working on stuff for someone else and feeling like I’m missing the point of what it is all really about and why it’s so important after all. As soon as I get done with work there are family responsibilities of preparing a meal, cleaning up some and catching up with everyone. It’s not that I am not grateful because I am immensely but I’m craving that order and something I create for my own pleasure and satisfaction. A look and feel that makes me feel like what I’m working for is being reflected in how my house looks. That my home and yard are not just going to waste because my attention is always somewhere else.

We have done a lot of purging over the years. If I had my full way I’d rid a lot more to be honest. I don’t do well with lots of stuff that ends up as clutter, things to move when you need to clean or things sitting everywhere. I find it distracting. It makes my mind stop being creative and I feel weighed down. Trust me I have enough weight on my body as it is I don’t need help from stuff too. So when I see things out of place or piling up I get anxious. I get frigidity and grumpy. I start my weekend list with removing these things to their proper place and I start seeing Friday as a gateway to reclaiming my sanity from stuff just sitting around where it doesn’t belong. Yes this is exactly where it begins week after week.

Here’s an example, I’m writing this blog sitting in my living room on a beautiful morning. It’s going to be a pretty day and the sun is peaking through the blinds giving just that right amount of light to the room. Instead of thinking this is wonderfully relaxing and how delightful I can write while the family sleeps, I’m seeing things that need to be moved to my son’s room and dog toys scattered everywhere. The sofa needs to be moved back in place now that virtual karate is over. Oh and there’s a bag clip under it that I can see along with at least 2 dog balls that always find a spot there. A Gatorade bottle is left by the TV and the shoes by the back door are all in a pile instead of neat. Then there is the dust that needs to be wiped up and my Christmas cactus probably needs some water. Yep this is what I’m thinking of instead of how wonderful it is this morning and that we’ll probably play in the pool today.

Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we let to-dos and things take away our moments of joy and relaxation? My living room isn’t how I like to see it right now but it’s not awful either. Trust me it’s been much worse. Yet instead of just being right now I’m focusing on the look. This look after all sets the tone right? Wouldn’t this moment be perfect if only my living room was in order? Realizing my son and husband are not tidy like I am and letting it go until they get up and pick up after themselves I’m letting it take my few minutes to myself in distraction and mild irritation. It’s like a deep nagging tug from my soul that this moment cannot be enjoyed unless everything is cleaned, organized and put away.

Here’s the reality at least in my house. I work really hard to get the house cleaned regularly. My son and husband pitch in on some th