Emotional Holidays
Posted on November 14, 2019 by dragonspitapothecary
We all have preconceived ideas of what the best holiday looks like. We all have ways we enjoy spending them. Some of us avoid the holidays and don’t like them as much as others. We delay, stall and grumble about the stores because it is our comfort zone. Some are planning holidays well before seasons change in anticipation and over the top excitement. We are building up the hype by posting countdowns on our Facebook page. In both situations there is a lot of emotions being felt and avoided. Holiday time brings out the emotion in all of us.
How you spend your holidays and how you feel during these times is important to acknowledge. It is entirely ok to feel how we feel but we have to be honest about it. We have to acknowledge it, feel it deeply and then make peace with those feelings. We also have to contain and level set our expectations so our feelings don’t overrun us with emotions that flood our ability to function. That balance of feeling alright in our skin, moving through the holidays in grace and honoring how we feel during this time can feel entirely unbelievable as possible.
Turn off the TV
Marketing done on TV and in stores has added a lot of stress and anxiety to the holidays. We are inundated with commercials and ads for the latest toys, perfect meals and beautiful holidays that we should all be working to achieve in our own homes. Are you seriously even trying if you don’t already know what the hot new toy will be this year well before Black Friday?
The problem with all the advertising is what it does to our emotions. The purpose of it all is to get us to spend our money to purchase all we should have for the perfect holidays according to the marketing execs. It is a deep play into our emotions to create desire. However, the downside of it all is we:
Easily overspend on our budget resulting in dread and misalignment in our finances
Feel guilt and shame if we honestly cannot afford these hot new toy trends
We feel excluded if we’re not having a perfect meal on a large table surrounded by loved ones
We feel like we’re odd or strange if our homes lack beautiful wreaths and decorations that everyone should have up
These emotions add up to a lot of us feeling overwhelmed as well as inadequate and inferior. These are not at all holiday spirit feelings and yet many of us report a higher recognition of stress, anxiety and depression around the holidays. It’s not that we don’t want to have good happy holidays but we are overwhelmed at the stuff we are told it takes to make a perfect holiday.
Friend, if you want a less stressful holiday start by turning off your TV. Stop letting every trip you make to a store be a overwhelming experience by being selective of what you want to buy. Make a budget and stick to it. The more we let advertising drive us the more these types of feelings will threaten to overtake what it means to have a holiday that is right for us.
When we turn off that TV the first sound we hear is silence. That can be uncomfortable at first but as it grows we can find ways to use it for our own holiday health. I like to diffuse the doTERRA Adaptiv with a drop of doTERRA Breathe. This is soothing and helps ease away the stress of negative feelings. Since doTERRA products are pharmacy grade and therapeutic the emotional benefits of these oils in a diffuser helps that silence be something that can be used more positively. We can feel calmer and more in control almost immediately. You can also use the Adaptiv roller on your wrists and back of neck for more immediate support of negative stressful feelings. (Learn more about here: dragonspitapothecary.com/adaptiv )
Holiday Past
We all have holidays we remember fondly or wish we didn’t remember at all. There is a lot of pain associated with holidays because well not all families are the makings of a Norman Rockwell painting. Some of us have had so much hurt and pain in our holidays that we prefer quieter, simpler times where we can be by ourselves or in smaller groups.
There are a lot of expectations that come with holidays. It seems every holiday is filled with traditions, must-dos and must-haves. The stress of living up to all these obligations associated with holidays can be frustrating, feel limiting and constrained and not at all bring us happiness. Yet we carry on with so many of these activities because that’s what is expected. Just try to have a Thanksgiving dinner without someone’s special and favorite dish and see what happens if you don’t believe me. Some of these traditions are harmless and some are painful, burdensome and for our own sanity need to be put in the past.
I realize asking a family to stop putting out the ugly table decorations that’s been used for generations is tough and the reaction could be harsh. I realize someone is going to be upset when that thing is not present or that dish of favorite something is not included. However, if it doesn’t fill you with joy and instead it fills you with dread, sadness and numbness then I strongly encourage you to change the situation. There is a time to live with something for the sake of peace and then there is a time to change what doesn’t serve you anymore. If changing it brings you joy rather than sadness over the holidays then it’s worth it.
Holidays should be what makes us feel good, complete and happy! This time is for reflection of what is good in our lives and what we are thankful for that make every day beautiful. If the traditional tidings we have with holidays makes the opposite feelings come up then our traditions are misaligned to our soul. Yes it may feel odd or weird but that change even in the smallest way can be the most freeing and liberating thing we could do to bring real fulfillment to our holidays.
I recommend applying some of the doTERRA Peace, Console an Forgive oils to help with these feelings. The use of the oils in these situations can help us find a way to navigate through changes and help us find the best way to support others having challenges with the changes as well.
Survival Mode
Sometimes we are just trying to survive the holidays. Between relatives, busy schedules, holiday preparations and normal life needs we quickly see our energy drained. We just try to eke out a way to make the holiday time pass with the least amount of resistance. We are tired, burned out and looking forward to a long winter’s nap in peace and quiet.
Having that space where you can go to enjoy a moment to yourself is key when you find yourself in holiday survival mode. Sometimes taking that time is what spares an argument with a good friend or lets you breathe away from the bustle of the day. It is perfectly ok to take a big time out for yourself anytime you need it.
Use that time to yourself for taking care of yourself. Enjoy taking the dog for a walk. Read a book. Take a nap. It may only be for a few minutes but savor it and make it something that gives you a sense of peace and contentment. These few minutes can be a lifeline to not only surviving the holidays but also giving yourself a way to deal with stressful situations that can quickly spiral negatively.
I am seriously in love with the doTERRA Adaptiv capsules and am finding benefits of using them every day when these feelings start to come on for me. Holidays are incredibly hard for me and I take a lot of time outs as a result. I get easily stressed out and overwhelmed with things at this time of year. The Adaptiv capsules help ease those stressors and I can feel calmer and more in control of my feelings … and temper. (You can learn more and purchase Adaptiv here: https://doterra.me/2eOnDMLL)
Holiday Tidings
Not all holidays will be perfect but honestly do we want them to be? Wouldn’t you rather they just be fun, lighthearted and memorable in a positive way? Sometimes we can’t control how they will turn out but we can certainly control our own feelings and get through them in a way that is healthy for us.While we don’t have to be all over the top crazy excited about the holidays we should be able to enjoy the time and reflect on what is good in our life. We should feel a peace and comfort that lets us know there is something larger in life that sometimes daily life threatens to overshadow.
Supporting yourself naturally through the holidays can help reduce the stress, anxiety and overwhelming feelings we can sometimes feel this time of year. With more cases of depression being reported this time of year it can benefit it us all to have that support that doesn’t leave us feeling drugged and worse. We can live more naturally on our terms and take control of our health, including mental well-being. If you are one that suffers during the holidays with depression, anxiety or stress I encourage you to learn more and try the doTERRA Adaptiv products. They are game changers in supporting our mental well-being and giving us that chance at having more than a miserable holiday feeling bad.
To learn more please check out the website or contact me for help.