Exactly What I Needed to Hear
Do you ever have those moments when you hear something and you know without any doubt that message is directly right at you? As if the Universe herself is just so fed up with you that she is no longer subtle with her guidance? That message when you hear it is like a smack alerting you to the idea you’ve been overlooking (or ignoring) and you are you being called out on it? Oh have I been called out like this a time a two myself.
Isn’t it funny how we see other people’s lives? We see their front yards and porches in perfect order or their social media timelines with all smiles and fun thinking they must have it all together. Their happy smiling faces and perfect yards are what we think happiness looks like and from where we’re standing they must be happy right? That person has figured out the magic formula for being successful, happy, a good mom and wife and all is just falling in place for them. If only!
When I was told I made things look easy I was floored by that remark. When I think about how hard I work at keeping the house cleaned, the laundry caught up, getting up at 5am to write a blog or doing my job I have to ask where do they see the easy part? I feel most of the time I am clumsy and awkward, always running from chore to chore and at any minute will fall from exhaustion. Easy? Not in my wildest dreams would I call what I do in a day easy, organized, well put together or even graceful. Yet that is what someone told me they saw about my life! To them I had it all put together and was making it look like a piece of cake. Whoa. That was the message from the Universe that smacked me hard.
How someone could call my life easy was pure crazy! How anyone could look at my life and think I had it all figured out, accomplished, organized and able to be delicately balanced with a good manicure was absurd! After I chucked that remark off as just someone who didn’t know me very well though I started to look at things more deeply. What would make them think that? What did they see that led them to that conclusion? Were they just being nice? Was I doing better than I was giving myself credit for?
The truth was at that time of this remark, I was struggling in a job I hated and actively looking for another. I was busting my chops to make sales in my small business to breathe life into it and I was struggling with accepting the fact my husband probably would never be able to work again. I had gained 60 pounds in emotional eating to hide the pain and constant storms I was feeling in my life. I was hurting inside and more lonely than I had felt in a long time. It was at this time I had also been betrayed by someone I trusted and was licking my wounds from that too. I was scared and worried about my family’s financial future. I was tired and overwhelmed. I desperately wanted to give up and run away but knew I couldn’t because then who would take care of my sick husband and young son? How could anyone looking at my life think it was good or even easy? Yet they did see easy, good and even pretty!
They saw a mom working hard to put together a beautiful afternoon birthday party for her son where he felt loved by her, his dad and all his friends. It looked easy and fun and perfect. The struggle to put that together was not being overlooked at all but rather being celebrated in what had been achieved. Another woman saw without having to ask and knew this is what I needed to hear in that moment. She knew I was doing a good job. It was all going to be ok and I could quit being so hard on myself all the time.
At the deepest level I think we are often blinded by our own pain and suffering that when we see a happy moment or someone doing well at something we think they have it all together in every area of their life. The truth is its not. We hide the bad because we don’t want others to know how much we don’t have our act together. Doing so prevents our even worse fear of being judged on top of having life problems and challenges we’re struggling with overcoming. Oh if you really knew how messy my life was right? It’s better you just see the pretty front yard I have or my Facebook pictures where I’m having fun in the pool with my son. No need to show you the ugly, messy, painful side even though that is really what’s behind the curtain. Yet what is really happening is we are not giving ourselves the opportunity to see the blessings that are happening all around us at the same time as these hardships. We are focused only on the bad.
It was then that I heard loud and clear what the Universe was not so subtly telling me through that remark. I had to really (REALLY) tell you about this living natural stuff. I had to let it out so that both good and bad showed. I had to show you that while my family and I have made great strides in living more natural and everything I describe in this blog is from our journey I still eat carbs. I still am working on getting healthy and many of the posts I write are me talking to myself on how to improve, grow and do better at that. That seemingly innocent complimentary remark was the Universe telling me I needed to admit to everyone I really wear black leggings and a messy bun most days with a dread towards having to get on the treadmill.
My work days are spent bouncing between conference calls and job tasks to write notes about a blog idea I have or a client follow up I need to schedule. I end my work days and immediately head to the kitchen to help with homework, empty the dishwasher and start dinner. My life is just like yours. It’s loud, messy, challenging, scary and at times I don’t know if I’m doing a good job at it or not most of the time. Oh and yeah my son goes to school in mismatched socks because we can’t find the matching ones.
Yet most days I am doing ok. It’s not easy or even fun at times but I’m pressing on and figuring it out. I’ve chosen this path of natural living that perhaps does to some make it look easier in some areas of my life. Where it’s still messy I’ve chosen to start building the beauty in the noise and see the opportunity to make it better even in small ways. I’ve opened the door to talk about it and what it could be, what I know it feels like and a path I believe gets us there.
The flow of natural living happens best when we stop pushing so hard and realize the Universe will do the pushing for us. Sometimes the posts I write are my own pep talk to remember that. Stop fighting nature and let it work in your life. Stop hiding the messy ugly parts and let the sun shine on them so you can find another way. Let others know life is imperfect and while you live natural you still use paper plates some nights because you forgot to run the dishwasher! Even now I get caught up in the daily noise and forget to take care of myself. I have skipped workouts and putting on moisturizer. I get overwhelmed and upset at how heavy things feel and try to get done on my own and I cry and I eat ice cream. I heard the Universe screaming at me through this comment to let this all out instead of holding it inside.
This is me and my life and it’s where I am still growing and learning along side you. I haven’t figured it all out. As women we do so much in our lives to keep them going because we know that giving up isn’t an option. That Universe message to me that day was a gut check. We may make things look easy but each of us know behind that perfect moment is a lot of work, challenge, balance, stress, anxiety, worry, struggle and carbs to pull that off. My encouragement to you (and myself) is its ok to let loose of the push to have it all look easy. It’s ok to be strong but it’s also ok to show we need help. That is at the core of living naturally.
When we can recognize our own strengths and know we can do it all but choose to be at peace with the imperfections of being a human who is still growing that's when we know we are living most naturally.
If you’re ready to explore your own natural journey, I invite you to complete the Lifestyle & Wellness Questionnaire to form that path. This insightful and free questionnaire hones in on where to begin and how to fit it into your budget. It’s time to hear the Universe talking to you about finding your own path and listening to your own heart. https://www.dragonspitapothecary.com/