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Exactly What I Needed to Hear

Do you ever have those moments when you hear something and you know without any doubt that message is directly right at you? As if the Universe herself is just so fed up with you that she is no longer subtle with her guidance? That message when you hear it is like a smack alerting you to the idea you’ve been overlooking (or ignoring) and you are you being called out on it? Oh have I been called out like this a time a two myself.

Isn’t it funny how we see other people’s lives? We see their front yards and porches in perfect order or their social media timelines with all smiles and fun thinking they must have it all together. Their happy smiling faces and perfect yards are what we think happiness looks like and from where we’re standing they must be happy right? That person has figured out the magic formula for being successful, happy, a good mom and wife and all is just falling in place for them. If only!

When I was told I made things look easy I was floored by that remark. When I think about how hard I work at keeping the house cleaned, the laundry caught up, getting up at 5am to write a blog or doing my job I have to ask where do they see the easy part? I feel most of the time I am clumsy and awkward, always running from chore to chore and at any minute will fall from exhaustion. Easy? Not in my wildest dreams would I call what I do in a day easy, organized, well put together or even graceful. Yet that is what someone told me they saw about my life! To them I had it all put together and was making it look like a piece of cake. Whoa. That was the message from the Universe that smacked me hard.

How someone could call my life easy was pure crazy! How anyone could look at my life and think I had it all figured out, accomplished, organized and able to be delicately balanced with a good manicure was absurd! After I chucked that remark off as just someone who didn’t know me very well though I started to look at things more deeply. What would make them think that? What did they see that led them to that conclusion? Were they just being nice? Was I doing better than I was giving myself credit for?

The truth was at that time of this remark, I was struggling in a job I hated and actively looking for another. I was busting my chops to make sales in my small business to breathe life into it and I was struggling with accepting the fact my husband probably would never be able to work again. I had gained 60 pounds in emotional eating to hide the pain and constant storms I was feeling in my life. I was hurting inside and more lonely than I had felt in a long time. It was at this time I had also been betrayed by someone I trusted and was licking my wounds from that too. I was scared and worried about my family’s financial future. I was tired and overwhelmed. I desperately wanted to give up and run away but knew I couldn’t because then who would take care of my sick husband and young son? How could anyone looking at my life think it was good or even easy? Yet they did see easy, good and even pretty!

They saw a mom working hard to put together a beautiful afternoon birthday party for her son where he felt loved by her, his dad and all his friends. It looked easy and fun and perfect. The struggle to put that together was not being overlooked at all but rather being celebrated in what had been achieved. Another woman saw without having to ask and knew this is what I needed to hear in that moment. She knew I was doing a good job. It was all going to be ok and I could quit being so hard on myself all the time.