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Love to Give

Posted on February 4, 2020 by dragonspitapothecary

As women we are naturals at giving to others. We are nurturers by design and it shows in all that we do. We naturally gravitate towards areas in life where we can help others, especially those we love. Our love of giving extends to how we like to do nice things for another person. We create cute little surprises and gifts that we know this person will love and think of us when they see it. We are always thinking of upcoming birthdays and anniversaries so we can send an old-fashioned card or message. We also give every day in just basic needs our family has for getting help on homework, keeping the house cleaned and meals readied. Women are giving in so many ways both large and small every day.

We give so much of ourselves in all that we do that often there isn’t much left for our own needs. We often realize that everyone else’s needs are fulfilled and satisfied but we have yet to receive the same. We push that aside though and think about those we love and what they are needing. Even on Mother’s Day many of us will still be making sure lunches are packed and homework checked for the next school day. I’ve even been known to do laundry on Mother’s Day! We all do it. It is what we do as moms, wives and well just women.

With all that women do today between juggling careers, home and businesses we often overlook what we are lacking and going without. We make up for it in little treats such as getting our nails done or going to a spa. We label self-care as things we do or must schedule rather than something we afford ourselves daily. It’s selfish to just think of ourselves when we know our children or spouse need something more than we do right? Too often we put ourselves last resulting in pain, unhealed wounds, emptiness and loneliness that after awhile we just don’t know where it stems from. We know that we give and give and give but rarely are we asked if we have what we need or are our needs being met in this process. We push aside our own feelings and needs in the interests of our children and family. We want to give them our best and yet we don’t know what that is when it comes to ourselves. As women we are experts at saying everything is fine when often that is the farthest way to describe how we feel.

We owe it to each other to take a serious in-depth look at one another and overcome the insecurities of needing to show the world we can do it all. In the 1950’s and 60’s when women started entering the workforce it was just expected they could keep house and work. Today we continue these same generational lies and it is literally killing our souls and our health! I don’t know about you but I don’t feel like Super Woman very often. Instead I feel tired, exhausted and overwhelmed at all that is on my to-do list. This doesn’t make me weak either. Why we insist on keeping up this charade is crazy to me! I once heard a saying that, “Women are expected to work like they don’t have families and keep up with their families like they don’t work.” I fail at doing that well every day.

Since it is technically the “modern age” of people now I’m declaring we should make 2020 a year where we introduce some changes to this situation so many of us find ourselves in. I think it is beautiful to love to give and it is our nature to nurture and love in this respect but we have to reclaim and preserve some of that for ourselves. I’m not talking about leaving our families or quitting our jobs but I am talking about getting some acceptance and recognition that it’s time we reset the expectations of what this looks like in our lives. As a result of our continuous giving to others and trying to keep up the Super Woman charade so many of us suffer from low self-esteem, a lack of confidence, feelings of being worthless. We let ourselves be judged and compared rather than being accepted for who we are and what we need.