I admit sometimes I sit at my keyboard and don’t know what to say. When that happens it’s so easy to scroll social media and mindlessly look through the latest on Instagram. Here I am at 5:30 AM at my keyboard with the intention of writing and I’m wasting time on social media when I could be sleeping! It’s early and dark and sometimes chilly so getting some work done would be divine but here I sit. My coffee is still hot and the house is asleep but I am out of words.
My word this year for 2020 is Emerge. In all things I want to emerge and grow. I want to heal and feel deeper. My body desires to emerge from under the weight I put on. Dragonspit Apothecary needs to emerge in growth for the work I’m putting in. So many things in my life can benefit from this simple yet powerful word. This has been a big word for me this year in all my actions, including continuing to rise at 5AM to write this blog for you. Hence why I’m a little irritated with myself when I can’t find the words to write and ideas are not emerging like water from a faucet.
There are so many times we can’t find the right words to say to someone. We struggle to express our thoughts in a way that is how we really feel. It’s not the right time or it would sound weird and create an awkward situation. Yet we feel what we do and given the right circumstance, situation and timing what we feel would not be weird at all. Why is that moment not now? What holds us back from speaking words that are there ready to be formed into sound or written on paper to share with another? I believe that we always have something to say and share yet we don’t. What if people think we’re strange? What if they get offended? What if I really, really like someone and this chases them away? It’s the vulnerability not the words we are afraid of most.
I think of vulnerability quite a bit when I write this blog. It was hard to share and admit how scared I’ve been throughout my husbands diagnosis of PTSD that left me our sole income earner. I thought long and hard about sharing what it’s been like living with him the past few years. How we’ve supported our family. What we’ve done to retain simple family things like having dinner together. The times of tears and stress. The sleeplessness and arguing. The fear of how we would continue to pay our bills, care for our son and goals we once set for our life all needing to change. No one wants to admit when things are tough or a struggle. The words for these things are there but we know the minute we share them people will judge, they won’t talk to you anymore or they will think you a failed. I haven’t lacked for words about this experience and yet so many times I have hesitated on how to respond when asked what my husband does for a living.
We have the words always. The words are there from our heart. The sentences already formed in our minds as we envision the perfect situation, circumstance and time to share them. We wait patiently for that to happen sometimes thinking it will never transpire. I encourage you today to let those words out. Create that situation, circumstance and time. Reflect on those words and if you deem them worthy get them out. Expressing ourselves is one of the most healthiest things we can do. We have some incredible ideas, dreams, inspirations and more that could become real all by sharing our words. Express them. Let them emerge.
When I am looking back at the past 2 years of blog posts I see several developments. Over this time I have evolved in what I put into these posts. I have deepened what I share where once I hesitated or worried over it. The words I use are loving, caring and friendly so you who as a mom, wife, working woman and more maybe has an easier go at it then I’ve had. I like to think there’s a lot of wisdom and sage advice in these posts that need to be shared. If I held all this back, the words on my heart, there would be no Dragonspit Apothecary. That’s how I know this is the right path for me. This is how I know getting up at 5AM is worth it. It has allowed me to open up and let words emerge to the screen or paper to share with you. It has offered me healing and a deeper opportunity to learn alongside you. My words are there and I craft them through the keys on this keyboard to get them out. I never dreamed I would have more than a month of words to share when I began this project and yet here I am over 2 years in sharing posts every day!
What words are you holding in? What are you struggling to say? My friend I know the words are there already. You know the circumstance, situation and timing in which you desire to let them out. You have the sentences formed with the tone you know you want to use. Why are you holding them? How are they serving you or others when you keep them all to yourself?
Lavender and Spearmint oils are supportive for communication. Lavender is the oil of communication and calm. This oil helps us calm our mind, especially the hesitations, and work through blocks like not knowing the right words to say. When we release the anxiety of saying something we can express ourselves more freely without the fear of rejection. Spearmint is the oil of confident speech. It supports clarity of thought so we can express our words and be able to let our words out without being timid. Apply these two oils (1-3) drops to your throat and heart. Let them support you and uplift you to a place where your words can emerge.
If you’re interested in guest writing for my blog or would like to appear in one of my VLOGs let me know! I will gladly help you get your words out as we talk about how we live more naturally on our terms. Contact me at https://www.dragonspitapothecary.com/contact