I have always had a high degree of stubbornness in me. Those that know me and read this blog you can stop laughing now. I realize my own imperfection that comes out as stubborn ways I do things. It isn’t that I set out to be noncompliant or even contentious but that I like to know things as right in my own mind before just agreeing to some things. The older I get the harder it is for me to break this pattern too. In fact it often feels like I am even more stubborn as if something has grown wild in me and I can’t resist the urge to be so as a result.
There have been of course times I have had to step out of my comfort zone out of necessity and whether I was ready for it or not. It isn’t pleasant business but then sometimes even our comfort isn’t a consideration for some circumstances. We are taught to be open to changes because nothing in life is ever stagnant and yet often I find this is said for those situations where someone is forcing their will more than anything else. That doesn’t always mean it is right or even fair but then not much in life is fair either.
Recognizing this characteristic I have helps me understand where that helps or hinders my journey in life. It makes me fiercely determined and strong when I need to be. It also however holds me back and limits me because that stubbornness can also be fear. Being able to step out of your comfort zone when you are this way can feel like an insurmountable mountain with lots of blistering cold whipping at your face all the way. It is what makes forced changes and those I actually want to transpire into reality difficult. It is uncomfortable growth that feels unstable and risky on top of being new and against what I currently know as right.
What I find amazing is that when I do get out of my own way and pursue stepping out of my own comfort zone on purpose I get amazing results. Not only in my business but in my personal life as well. It is not so much that stubbornness was causing me not to do something but rather the resistance to change driven by stubbornness of old beliefs was causing it. I had to make the change my own and feel in control of it so that I balanced that scale of stubbornness with desire of change. Then anything became possible.
Case in point, I swore I would never go back to school again, in my life. Just participating in required training at work was enough to make me shutter. It took me a long time to accomplish getting a 4 year degree and once obtained I was done with the education system. Never say never right? A month into working towards a second degree I find I have tricked my own stubbornness about saying I would never in this area. The trick was putting it towards something that mattered to me.
Stepping out of our comfort zones is never easy whether that change is big or small. Me going back to college was not a small thing of course but I am amazed how easily I was able to do what I said I would never. I think when we align it in our hearts and see how it works for us in true natural passion of what is right for ourselves then things like stubbornness go away. We become stubborn instead of not letting any more time pass without working towards our dreams. We start to realize we deserve more than we give ourselves. It feels easier to step through to the unknown and uncomfortable too.
Maybe that’s the trick to it all. My own stubbornness was not because I was resistant but that I was resisting the things that were not right for me. Being able to discern those situations can be challenging but I think it gives us perspective as to why we can’t easily accept some things in our life. When I look at things in my life this way I can see clearly where that is most true. I don’t believe the majority of us are trying to be argumentative or even defensive and resistant but rather we are protecting our own freedom to define that path on our own.
When we make a New Year’s Resolution, start a diet on a Monday or any goal if that thing is not ultimately aligned to what serves us best we not only give up on but we don’t put our full heart into it. We can even resent the work it takes to achieve something. I believe these are signs of us not approaching things in a way that is right for us if even at all the thing itself is right for us. Perhaps we do need to lose weight but maybe dieting isn’t the right way for us to achieve it! What if all we need to do is shift our approach and goal to one that is right for us?
Stepping out of our comfort zone is necessary for our growth. My own stubbornness recognizes that and so I’ve chosen to figure out new ways to make that work in my life. I don’t want to be one of those cranky old ladies who takes issue with everything that doesn’t suit me as I do believe change is ever happening. We must change to because we wake up every day a little different than we were the day before. Being able to fully accept change, step into it boldly and make it our own is the key to not only making it more amendable but more natural for us to thrive in change and not our own limitations.
Make 2022 your year to step into the unknown boldly and naturally. Follow me on social media (Instagram & Facebook) @dragonspitapothecary
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