The greatest conveniences in our life also tend to be our biggest curses.
It is so easy, perhaps too easy, to order something from my phone and then two days or less later, Alexia is telling me there is a package on the porch. Someone else took the time to get it, box it, transport it and set it behind my potted fern. I didn’t even have to step all the way out my door or put on shoes to pick it up. There was no worry or extra effort I put into it either.
A lot of my life is this way.
With the touch of a button, swipe of a screen, or message to the Alexia many things in my life are opened, closed, cooked, started, processed and delivered. It is indeed a wonderful convenience especially on busy days, which every day tends to feel like. More importantly though, they are checked off my to-do list and not thought about again until it’s time to do it again. It’s simply how we do modern life. Everything is efficient like that. Things we used to do all the time now don’t take much time at all and most don’t even really need us involved in them. I don’t even have to be required to even remember half of it because Alexia will kindly remind me of that too.
While the conveniences are wonderful time savers and helpful to my busy lifestyle, they have done one glaringly large bad thing to me. I’m not talking of being spoiled by looking like a pro at multi-tasking and being up-to-date on the latest Alexia capabilities, but rather the dark distortion this has all done to my patience of time. The things that take longer than 30 minutes to focus on are now a struggle to achieve. Alexia has killed my patience with anything that doesn’t work smoothly the first time too, because I expect that now of everything, including myself. I lack the attention span and motivation beyond that.
I am not blaming Alexia for the extra 60 pounds I now carry. I do however say that the ability to have information and anything else I want available 24 by 7 at the touch of my fingers has killed the ability to see some things still don’t work that way. Taking off that extra weight has not happened in 30 minutes or less a day or by asking Alexia and using the multiple pills, shakes, exercise videos, and various other tools that have arrived on my porch.
Yes, I know that is completely insane to consider.
The inability to lose weight and that has caused me to keep having to restart a new diet every Monday is in fact because I want results NOW. Yes, I understand the weight didn’t come on over night so it won’t leave that fast either but my brain doesn’t accept that. I am after all a modern woman who knows the power of her Alexia and phone apps, so why shouldn’t it be that way? Magic does exist in the form of quick information, products and results. Logically, I know that is equally insane but it’s the trap I find myself in when the scale hasn’t moved after a week of glue tasting protein shakes, salads and meal restrictions while feeling my arms hurt from pushing through ridiculously hard workouts.
I am left hangry and still not a pound lighter.
When we feel frustrated by something our first inclination is to walk away from it. Obviously, it doesn’t work or it’s simply too hard for us to achieve so why continue? There are a multitude of other things promising results or that can distract me from this problem. That’s what television streaming programs are for too. I will just start again on a new diet Monday. There is some new shake that if I drink it two times a day and eat a small dinner I will lose a lot of weight fast so I’ll just try that instead. Or my favorite way is ignoring it all until I have to go buy something to wear for somewhere nice or a work trip and find that the size label has to be up one more than last time. Then I’ll swear, cry and promise to get started right away by punishing myself with restrictive eating that day. It’s just more convenient that way after all.
Rationally, I know weight loss takes time. It can take months and years in fact. What compounds that timeline and have to keep restarting is when we try to conform to a program and are not prepared for it. We expect these immediate results not realizing we have just jumped in without any support or tools. That’s why we immediately give up at the first sign of it being hard. Before we know it we have started numerous diets, programs, pills, shakes, smoothies, and more but managed only to get fatter and more frustrated at the lack of progress. Our own impatience for having to see it now prevents us from experiencing the changes and putting in the work that make significant progress possible.
For any diet program to work, we have to first prepare our mind. If our mindset is not in complete awareness of what we are doing and committed to the path it will be as easy to give up as it is to tell Alexia to order a pizza with extra cheese. This takes some time and is not something we can just randomly say we will start on Monday. Getting rid of the Negative Nancy that most of our brains are punished to have living in that space is in fact a great deal of work. However, her eviction with the negative self-talk, self-sabotage and inability to cheer us on is critical to our short and long term success. The minute we stumble this jerk will be the voice we hear scolding us and telling us to give up now and go eat pizza on the couch with Netflix.
We have to love who we are now, with the extra weight and know that who we are isn’t better or worse if we are skinny. This is hard to do in a world that frowns on thick thighs. Yet the ability to see our own beauty and strength regardless of size and opinions of others is the process of uncovering who we really are. It is the single most important aspect of the weight loss journey too. Disconnecting our value to the number on the scale makes the process of losing weight one of personal transformation and growth rather than a punishment for stumbling.
It is essential we also prepare our body. Most of us just jump into an exercise or eating program that becomes instantly great at making us sore and hangry. Our body goes into shock and we think we must push through all of that discomfort and pain to get positive results. The no pain, no gain thinking is what creates dislike for exercise particularly and makes dieting so frustrating. We think we have to eat like we are already a size 2 in order to be a size 2. That’s now how nutrition or exercise works for lifelong results. We need vitamins, minerals, whole food, changes in how we think about food and approach fitness. Yet those changes are not usually best achieved through force that create nothing more than resentment and impossible measures to maintain.
When we don’t feel good about what we are doing we give up because we can’t keep up with it. The expectations that we can immediately perform well in zumba class, walk 10 miles a day and eat a healthy diet is ill informed. Our body has to be prepared for these changes, given reasonable and personalized goals through a series of changes that lead us to making more these larger changes, including intense exercise. Detoxing our body, softening our cells to absorb nutrients and working on our stress is setting us up for improved results before we start dieting and exercising. It’s the pre-work that gives us the structure and support we need to be successful and all of it is done within our own being.
Admitting that losing weight requires us to do preparation and outline a series of small things every day that will help us progress is maddening to a world that lives in a touch of your finger fulfillment mode. It is exactly why we find we are asking Alexia to order the latest in magical pills that will only leave us back at the start line with a new diet every Monday. Putting in the work to do it right for ourselves and with patience and consistency is against the grain I know. Yet it is where we find a new way of living that makes progress possible and heath obtainable and maintained long term.
If you are open to learn more, join me in the upcoming Metabolism and Weight Loss class. Check the schedule and register for free at dragonspitapothecary.com/book-online
Let’s lose the weight for good and enjoy the convivences of being healthy.