Updated: Sep 11, 2019
Posted on September 9, 2019 by dragonspitapothecary
I have worked in corporate America for over 30 years now. It is interesting for me to sometimes reflect on all that has happened in this timespan and how much work has played a part of where I am, who I am and what is next for me. During this part of my life, I have experienced some incredible moments that have allowed me to clearly see my career evolve to what it is today. There have been some proud moments like when I was promoted the first time and given a “real” office to being let go. There have been highs and lows when it has come to impactful decisions others have made about my career.
There have also been highs and lows with decisions I have made on my own. Like when I chose to move several states away and begin a new life with my now husband and that move meant leaving a company I loved and had much success at to start a new job somewhere else. At the time I made that move I had not idea that would actually became a pivotal moment in my career.
Collectively though all these moments have become my journey for where I am now and they are not without deep emotions and relationships along the way.
Early in my career there was a hot new buzzword and training at the time centering around this concept of emotional maturity. It was the hottest personal development topic of the day and had numerous books, training and discussions available for everyone to jump on this necessary skill development. It was believed people needed to have less emotion in the workplace in order to promote a clearer vision, greater and deeper level of teamwork and collaboration. We couldn’t make sound busniness decsions if we were thinking with our heart versus our head. The more modern version of this now known as emotional intelligence but the same concept and principles are taught.
I remember a mentor of mine in my early days of being a manager over staff telling me I couldn’t wear my emotions on my sleeve. I had to separate that part of me, the part of my feelings and emotions to make the tough decisions that would be required in my job. As a manager you are taught, even today, that you have to put aside your heart and focus on what is necessary for the success of that company and sometimes your own career. You can’t show emotion and if you’re feeling it you need to bury it deep because it can hurt you in your career, especially the higher the ladder you climb. I have learned this skill though I don’t claim to have always demonstrated it gracefully. This is the core reason why when we come home from work our families often get the brunt of what is pent up inside us.
Isn’t Work Emotional?
The emotional maturity and thought we can separate our feelings from our business decisions challenges me. How then do you approach your work with passion because passion is a strong emotion? How do you develop relationships that are built on trust if you close off a part of who you are as a person? How do you provide customer service that is exceptional if we are not honoring our feelings as we think of our own customer experiences? I understand we need to make tough decisions at points in any job or business but shouldn’t those decisions be based on a whole picture that includes feelings? Is this why there is such a distorted view of right and wrong today in our society?
I believe work is emotional and that some of the most beautiful innovations and progress come when we are in harmony with our souls and our work. It is where an artist expresses their gift on a canvas or a programmer developers a new app that becomes wildly popular. These things happen when we put our soul in our work and our souls are emotions and feelings that cannot be detached from who we are. They cannot be buried deep and overlooked if we truly want to experience the meaningful relationships with our customers, coworkers, employees and bosses. It is also part of what makes success feel so satisfying and fulfilling.
When you think of the saying blood, sweat and tears to bring about something for your business this stems from pouring your soul into your work to tap into the passion, creativity, pain and happiness of our emotional system. These elements come together to help us form messaging in our marketing, write compelling blogs or have connecting podcasts. This is what allows us to be unique and attractive to our desired customers setting us apart from the robotic cheesy approaches that block sales from happening and chase away people from talking to us about our direct sales business.
Emily Wright, doTERRA Founder
The first year I went to the doTERRA annual convention was on the 10th anniversary of doTERRA’s existence. It was a ceremonious event with beautiful pagentry, colors, messages and excitement for the future. Despite being around 40,000 other doTERRA fans and surrounded in a continual mist of beautiful essential oils it was a wonderful experience.
What spoke to me though was seeing the only female among doTERRA’s founders express tears on stage. Heartfelt, deep emotions spilling out among the glitz and glamour of this event. A top leader in her industry crying in front of over 40,000 people in person and thousands more online. She had a difficult time speaking at points. She made more than one presentation where this occurred too! I even heard someone say, “Here we go again with the waterworks.”
Didn’t she not know about emotional maturity or emotional intelligence? Was she going through her monthly cycle? Was this just an act?
I have thought about sitting in that large arena observing Emily’s tears at several moments since this happened over a year ago. I think about it as I prepare to go to Utah for this year’s convention. I have thought about what it all meant. I have considered that emotional maturity could possibly be one of the largest loads of bs that prevents us from being who we really are. I have looked at my own career when I had to hold back tears about something tender or hard that I knew impacted someone else or that just bothered me.
During one of Emily’s presentations she was reflecting on the 10 years of doTERRA. She showed pictures of their early days with all the founders together smiling at their milestones. She said something during this single presentation so compelling to me that it has influenced what I see when I reflect on my own career journey and the future of my career and business. She said, and I am summarizing, that in the early days being the only woman among men starting this company called doTERRA that she did what she could to “fit in.” She wore dark colored suits and tried not to smile to big. She didn’t speak up in meetings and held back thoughts because they may appear too emotional. Finally she realized that by this she was holding herself back and she was also holding back the potential of doTERRA, her company.
She began wearing clothes and colors she loved. She spoke up more and she expanded the relationships with the other founders because they saw her true soul. They learned to work together honoring and respecting one another, emotions and all. She brought a touch that no other could in that team not only by being a female but by thinking about business differently. She realized you could not compartmentalize who you are for the sake of business but rather when you find the way to gracefully integrate the two, wonderful things emerge. This is why she felt confident crying in front of 40,000 plus people across the globe in a beautiful red pant suit with matching heels.
If you are in direct sales and you have a scripted elevator pitch that has not worked well or people are avoiding you ask why. Are you speaking from your heart? Does your business reflect who you are in your soul? Do you hold back your emotions because it’s not seen as professional? Are you limiting yourself because you’re afraid to show your feelings?
I meet a lot of people in direct sales businesses. I have dear friends who sell make-up, plasticware, kitchenware, cleaning products, adult items and more. Many have been at it for a long time and others come and go. The ones that stay in this type of business have figured out you have to be you. That means opening the door to your soul and speaking from the heart in a way that only you can do. Connecting with a hopeful customer on that level is what makes a sale into a lifelong repeat customer.
This blog has now been in place for almost 2 years. In that time I have written almost 1000 posts that appear daily on this feed! That’s a lot of words and time putting thoughts to words and forming stories that I hope speak to you directly as if we were sharing a coffee at my kitchen table. Recently, I went back and read a few of my earlier posts and realized just how much my writing has evolved. I have found my voice. I have expressed emotion and shared with you who I am through the words of this blog. I am wearing my favorite colors and being comfortable in my own skin. This is incredibly freeing.
It is also humbling and scary to realize how much of myself is “out there.” Is someone reading this wondering if I’m crying of if I’m on my period so I’m uber sensitive? Do they think its all flowery female stuff that is touchy feely? Do they think I’m too emotional so there’s no way I can be successful in my business? Some may but for those of you reading this and connecting because these words speak to your own soul that is feeling confined, buried deep and lacking light I encourage you to let her out. Let your voice come through. Put on that outfit that makes you feel successful and confident. Speak from your heart and I promise you will find your people. You will find those desired customers without even trying but rather just by being you.
Interested in more?
If you’re ready to speak your heart truth and build a business that is you, all of you down to your soul and heart then I encourage you to look at doTERRA. Not only are you able to bring your voice but all of you to build something that truly is empowering, freeing and most definitely the right kind of emotional maturity.
Starting your business with all the right tools to help your business flouish is what you will find in my Choose Your Own Path business packs. These collections are directly from my own toolbox of what I use in building, managing and operating my direct sales business you know as Dragonspit Apothecary. Join me and let’s help your soul speak. Click here to get started.