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The Monster Inside Us

Fear keeps us right where we are, right now. It feels of concrete wrapping around our legs preventing a step forward. It keeps us awake at night with worry and overthinking. Fear is this huge emotion that impacts us emotionally and physically but what is it exactly? I believe it is self-imposed limit striking at our very core of what is safe and small. Like a web, fear knows us better than we know ourselves at times and doesn’t sugar coat the reasons of why we are not enough. Instead it soaks deeply into our minds pausing progress, preventing future dreams and telling us we are not worthy. It is the real monster inside of us all.

Sooner or later something is going to come along and present a change that is unavoidable for us. We are going to encounter changes in our body, strength, skill, relationships, jobs, interests, money and more. Changes in and around us manifesting constantly and yet we struggle with fear of many of them. While we know change is unavoidable, we also fear it because we fear failure, loss, insecurity, discomfort and the unknown and risk. We rationalize it is better to put it off the change acceptance until we cannot anymore and then hopefully the risk will not be so bad and we can figure it out then. We let fear tell us it’s better to wait and stay small and safe in the familiar where we are now, even if we are not happy, fulfilled or complete. It is better than what is “out there.”

How many times in my own life has fear stopped me short! I look back and think what I missed as a result of holding back with my own limits. Perhaps it would have blown up, failed, I would have been rejected but I won’t know now. I played it safe letting my mind and emotions direct my actions and not find out. Fear is much like a bully who tries to take your lunch money every day until one day you do push back. The adrenaline of that bold move uncertain what will come next but going anyway.

We often think it has to be all or nothing and sometimes it does when it comes to doing what is necessary. We forget though there are just as many times we can dip our toe in and take a small experience before applying it everywhere in our life. It takes us making that first move however. It takes us allowing fear to state it’s case and then moving forward in a big or small way to challenge that fear. Experiencing that moment of the first step and accepting we are alright with not knowing where it is going or what will happen but knowing it is absolutely right for us to do this now. No more fear bully. No more stuck in concrete. We will figure this out and we will survive it better or worse.

We forget that doing something slowly isn’t a bad thing. I think too often in our world we see everything like Amazon Prime shipping with a 2 day delivery promise. Sometimes it’s worth taking it slower and more intentionally to find out what we really want and need and how those wants and needs can be satisfied in a way nothing else has achieved despite its speed. The problem with slow moving in fear is we can use it as a crutch to stop completely. However, when we take it slow we can also experience tremendous growth that feels good to us and enables us to keep going on our own pace.

Our world is filled with fear. 2020 has certainly provided a clear view of just how much we have to fear in our world and communities as well as how much we ourselves create and expand that fear. Fear makes us act in ways we would not normally from being frozen and unable to respond to rioting, looting and hurting others. We are surrounded by fear and it spreads like a virus infecting all of us across the globe with uncertainty, unknowns and threats to our security and way of life. We hold our children tighter, getting quieter and smaller in hopes it passes us by with minimal impact.

Sometimes fear is our protector guiding us to safe passage. The good of fear in these situations is important to trust and follow. Our intuition is an emotional resp