Watching Life Change

Posted on October 24, 2019 by dragonspitapothecary

Many of my friends had children go off to college and start their adult phase of their lives this year. I’ve watched these beautiful women cry, write beautiful heartfelt notes on social media and have deep pain in their hearts as they went through watching this change occur. They said it was bittersweet because on one hand motherhood is a process of letting go and on another they were not ready to have this happen. It was difficult to watch, participate in and be happy for their children while inside being torn to pieces they were no longer little.

My own son is still in elementary school since we didn’t become parents until later in life. I looked at him after hearing my friends and said plainly, “Stop growing so fast okay.” He just gave me that silly young boy look, laughed and went to play with his own friends. I won’t lie watching my friends go through it made me hug him a little tighter for a little longer. Thank goodness he still likes to snuggle with me.

Motherhood may be the process of letting go and there will certainly be moments in time that are special along the way but it takes some true strength to endure this seasonal change in life. In that process what are our children seeing? How will they remember you in this time? How do they describe you? What are their feelings? Oh sure they are super excited about going on their own but inside you know the truth because you once did it yourself.

Every Day Changes

I have a son who still picks me flowers from my flowerbeds and holds my hand in parking lots. It occurred to me one day he wouldn’t do those things anymore. The first time he let my hand go as soon as we got to the sidewalk I admit it took me back. There was something sweet about holding that sticky little hand and it gave me such a sense of pleasure and pride. It filled me with joy that I could be connected with him like that and everyone knew he was my son and I was his mom. I could protect him and share closeness with him on a simple trip to the grocery store.

Letting go of that little hand and watching him grow has brought other blessings of course. He is still funny, tells crazy stories and has a great ability he is developing in drawing but there are changes occurring. I can see them and now that I’m aware one day he will leave I’m even more in tune to capturing these every day moments and holding them more.

Autumn is a physical reminder that everything changes in life. We all have seasons we go through that allow us to grow and change but when we see these changes in our children it gives us pause. Even though they sometimes drive us crazy and we get tired of picking up toys repeatedly we know this too is just temporary. It will change. We will change and so will our children. We want this but at the same time we