There is a popular saying that says people don’t leave jobs they leave bosses. They leave companies where they don’t feel appreciated, valued, paid their worth or are treated poorly. They leave bosses who are lousy at their jobs, terrible at leadership or just plain jerks among other less than desirable characteristics. They leave situations that are unhealthy for them emotionally and physically often seeking solace from the ongoing onslaught of bad behavior and unrealistic demands placed on them by unreasonableness and subjectivity. They rarely leave because the job is the job.
It is draining to work for a bad boss. It is also emotionally draining to look for, interview at, get and leave a job. We are taught to not let our emotions into our workplace but there isn’t a human alive that can say they do that well. We all feel the emotions of anger, disappointment, frustration, depression and more associated from doing the job we do every day. Add in a boss who makes life even more challenging at work and you have a setup for the full spectrum of emotions.
A recent Gallop poll shows over 70% of people dislike their job. I’m certain some of that is because it’s not work we enjoy but I’m betting the vast majority of it is because of the structure, leadership, environment and emotional factors. That’s just my guess based on my own experience of course but I hardly think I’m alone. The frustrating thing about this is we all need our jobs. We need that paycheck, the benefits and other perks of doing what we’re doing even though we don’t like it. We suck it up and move on thinking its all we can do.
Why do we so easily accept that we cannot be happy in our workplace?
If we’re brave enough to leave a job we do experience some unexpected emotions too. There can be relief, happiness, release, grief, and even anger there too. What is different in this experience too is the surge of energy we feel from these emotions. It is temporarily “better.” What we soon find though is there are bad bosses everywhere you go. If it is not the boss then there’s a real interesting character on your team or some difficult person you need to work with regularly. You are never really ever rid of undesirable people in your job. For some reason when these people go into work they become these miserable, unrealistic, uncooperative and just plan jerk level individuals. Yet you know they too have a family. Someone is depending on them. They are just trying to do what you are in earning a paycheck and still their behavior is simply making working with them miserable for you and many others.
I have long ago given up trying to understand what makes someone act like that in the workplace. There are so many possibilities but the bottom line is they’re acting out and taking it out on others they work with every day. They are getting away with it too driving really good people out of their company. Sure you can always hire more people but there is tremendous expense and loss of productivity when you do that. More than that though is the loss of a relationship, a human connection that is left with sour feelings and bad memories that could have been avoided.
The bad boss situation is one of the top reasons many people are working multiple jobs. Deep down we are wanting that freedom from these situations that don’t fulfill us. The problem comes in when we don’t feel we have this choice or that we find opportunities to change this situation too much work. It isn’t that we are happy where we are but we’re comfortable. Miserable yet comfortable. It’s easier to be miserable than it is to take a risk. We know it’s not great where we are but it’s better than not knowing about something new. Sadly a lot of us live this way and spend our entire career doing the minimum to get by and never realizing the joy we can actually receive from doing a job we love in a healthy, supportive environment.
Why is that?
I have often asked myself that as I continue to work full time and run Dragonspit Apothecary. Why do we choose to stay unhappy? The one thing I have noticed most is that while I cannot leave my full job job yet and be supported fully through my business it gives me a perspective I didn’t have before. I see that I have more I can control than I ever thought before. Oh sure I still deal with bad bosses and co-workers with ill repute but I feel freer. I know I have a plan that will ultimately remove that situation in my life. It makes the hard days a little easier to get through. It makes the days I’m completely beat down a little easier to get back up from. It fuels my energy and hope to keep going against all odds of my business being successful. It’s deeper than passion or wishful thinking. It is empowerment.
When we choose to take back our own power in any situation and relationship we realize we have control. We may not be able to end the situation or relationship in that moment but we have the motivation, drive, energy, and support we need to make it to that point. It’s like a protective shell goes over us and we can endure what we are because we see the goal ahead. We can push through a little longer to get to that better place. We have all the tools we need to make that change possible and realistic. We realize we don’t have to just be like herded sheep waiting for the next lash but that we can actively and fully live in a way that feeds our soul with enrichment and things that feel good and are healthy. Maybe that’s a new job in a friendlier company or maybe it’s starting your own business like I did.
Choosing to be free means we are being true to who were created to be. It doesn’t mean we don’t have to work ever again. I love the saying from Chris Hogan’s book Everyday Millionaires that says there’s a difference between rich and wealthy. Rich is just a pile of money you dive into and wealthy is what you make, earn, create, manifest and build that lasts a lifetime. I want to be wealthy. I want to earn it and rejoice in it when I get there. When I take that principle of what wealth is and put it against natural living I see alignment of potential and opportunity. It means we can create a work life that is intentional, healthy, supportive and aligned to where we want to be in our life.
I believe if you ask 90% of the people if they job they have right now is their dream job they would say no. It isn’t even close. So why aren’t more of us pursuing the dream jobs? Why aren’t more of us living in a way that fuels our creativity, innovative ideas and inspiring works? Why are we settling in unhealthy environments that leave us with nothing left to give to our families and what’s important in our lives? Why are we not building the wealth and becoming part of the 30% that love what they do for a living?
When many of us emerged from social distancing have you seen how many people changed jobs? Have you heard about all the new people wanting to build their own business or create something new? That time gave us perspective that is starting to awaken in a lot of us that we deserve and can have better. It is within our control to create that situation. It is entirely possible and we can step out of the lies we’ve been told about how wealth and success are created.
I don’t believe all of us were made to be entrepreneurs but I believe more of us should be exploring that option. I think a lot of us just say no because we don’t have faith it can work out for us. We’ve heard how hard it is or seen others fail at it. It’s not for us we say. We exist on much less than we deserve as a result. We let go of hope and dreams in exchange for a week filled with stressful situations and a paycheck traded for our time. It’s secure we tell ourselves. It’s not as bad as we are thinking it is. We can make this work. It will be ok it was just a bad day. Is that really true though?
How many more bad days and bad bosses do you want in your life?
I believe we have a choice about those bad days. I believe we can manifest more of the good days by taking control of our destiny. When we decide we don’t want to settle any longer for less than we deserve and are willing to take that step into a new area that could change our life.
To me this is what it means to move into living naturally and honoring our being.
Explore what this could mean for you with my New Leader Assessment: https://forms.gle/USUZdrxPWgnWnpd48