Lessons from the Start Line
You ever have that thing you want to learn and be good at but all you find is you keep going back to the start line to try again? You just never seem to quite get it figured out or succeed at it and there is just starting over and over again. You feel like a loser going back to the start line yet again and wonder what you are doing wrong or why you’re not getting it. The eagerness and excitement turn to optimism and hope only to turn to anger, irritation and frustration testing us each time we fail at it yet again. We either keep trying it getting more and more tired with each trip back to the beginning or we give up.
I have struggled with my weight the last few years. There’s lots of excuses and reasons for it. I have tried to ignore it, make peace with it, hide it in dark colors in my clothes, workout until I couldn’t move, starve it off and talk bad about it. Still it is there and I keep going to the start line to try yet again another diet, meal plan, shake mix, exercise routine, and motivational pep talk. It’s frustrating, embarrassing and exhausting. Restarting over and over again with little to no progress but a growing defeated spirit.
On my multiple trips back to the start line I have learned quite a bit about myself. For one the older I get the more ornery I seem to be about starting over on something. Life seems too short to have to constantly repeat the same process over and over again. So obviously this must mean I’m not doing something right, not putting my all into it or something else is wrong to cause this need to keep restarting. I’ve worked hard not to blame especially when it comes to weight loss but that is a bit of a challenge when you’re headed to the start line to try again.
The thing is though maybe I’m not doing anything wrong, maybe I’m just at the wrong start line. The more times I head back to the same start line the more I start to question if this is right thing for me to be doing. Maybe it is and I need to learn to do it but sometimes it isn’t at all. It’s hard to know without a few restarts but here’s where knowing myself is super important. When I know these things about myself:
What motivates me
How determined I am
Where this is on my priority list
What I am crystal clear on what I want and need
How I best learn
What support I need
Why it’s important to me
How it will work in my life if I succeed, do it, reach it, have it
What I’m going to do with it when it’s there
Then, I can figure out what start line I belong at.