We all have a story or two of someone we thought we could trust but turns out you couldn’t and something pretty bad happened. It has certainly happened to me and not only do you get really hurt from those situations but you also lose who you thought was a friend. At times maybe the result wasn’t their intention but it always ends up feeling like you were played for a fool and there’s a big mess to now clean up. Knowing who you can trust is such a tricky situation.
The wisdom we develop from being in situations where this occurs tends to stick with us. We are more hesitant next time to let someone close to us or it may take us a long time to even consider falling in love again. Regardless of if the next person would ever do that to us or not, we don’t take that risk. I have certainly done that to protect myself. You just never know about people right and after you’ve been hurt a few times you become suspicious of everyone.
Where this really creates problems is in our work space. There is already a big competition setting where we are pitted against one another which doesn’t help either. However, for some people being in the work space, whether in person or virtual brings out the worst in us. Like we become this evil villains who take no prisoners in our actions to show we are better, greater or just “told you so.” It’s incredibly devastating when you have to work with these people and therefore trust them on parts that impact your job and they turn around create these terrible situations. It can be career ending too but for what?
Not only did we lose a job perhaps but we lost friendships and connections. We all paid the price for the actions that occurred and there is no this toxic work environment we all must figure out how to navigate. Where there is no trust there is no way forward on success. Yet individually, we know there is a wealth of wisdom in knowing who to trust at work and who to steer very clear from. It is just hopeful we can recover from whatever evil game that person is playing that impacts us next time.
I have come to think of these experiences as wealth building opportunities. When you are going through it, wealth is the furthest thing from your mind as you consider how to survive and recover from it but once you clear the wreckage there are some usually some value you can find. You can actually overcome these situations and end up in a much better place for one thing. That may not seem like it at the time but maybe it was exactly the push we needed in our life or career.
The other reason I think these are wealth building opportunities is because they give us strength. We learn a lot about ourselves and others during these times. It can be very difficult to trust again but when we are ready to the experience we went through give us wealth to enjoy in another relationship. We love deeper the ones we know we can trust and that have us completely supported. We hold tighter to the true friends by our side standing up for us and lifting us up in love and support too. We see the true wealth of who we are and who is there with us. Maybe we already know these things but in those moments of crisis like this, you really see the wealth of you emerge.
When it has happened to me I have gone through all the emotions, especially anger. I am usually the one who trusts first because I want to believe people are good and don’t hold ill intentions. I assume people are not as self-serving as they sometimes actually are. Maybe that is naive to assume everyone has honesty, integrity and forthrightness in their hearts. What I believe though is there is a wealth in knowing who to really trust and you build on those bad experiences to help refine that.
When we don’t have a choice about it, like in a work setting where you have to rely on each other and there is an inherent necessary trust as a result, well there’s tactics there too for help. People will advice you to document everything and sure that can help but I prefer instead to be the example. If I can walk out of one of these ugly situations and still say I am honest, have integrity and my character is one of good then regardless of the outcome I can hold my head up high. I can sleep at night.