Posted on September 12, 2019 by dragonspitapothecary
We can be very good at hiding insecurity, doubt, anxiety and fear by giving off an air of confidence and certainty that we don’t actually possess. How many times have you had to do something that you weren’t comfortable doing and felt nervous, anxious and scared inside? Yet everyone told you it was great! You performed well and no one could tell that you were actually shaking in your boots with a stomach full of butterflies threatening to come up right in the middle of it all. Hopefully no one saw us sweat too right? We give a great big sigh of relief when it’s over and play it off that we had it all under control the whole time. Yet we didn’t at all.
Showing someone you are not confident can be taken by them and you as a sign of weakness, especially in business. Opening up to someone about your insecurity puts us in a vulnerable position that can be taken advantage of or put someone in power over us. Yet not having the ability to be vulnerable has oftentimes prevented us from being true to ourselves and seeking help at points we could have used it. We are made to feel inferior or weak by asking for that help or speaking out about how we feel. These are considered in many workplaces to be not strong characteristics and a negative that forms opinions of what you are capable. No one wants to be seen like that so, instead we put on a bold face and push through. Sometimes it turns out ok and we hear that we did great. It is a tough way to gain experience and win trust of others. At the core of it all though is something very basic, in that, we didn’t trust ourselves.
Why We Don’t Think We Can Be Vulnerable
When we are in situations where there is a high amount of competition we immediately hide our own insecurities because we have an impression that we can’t show that to anyone. It will give others our power and prevent us from being taken seriously. If you want to win you can’t show weakness. If you want to be influential you can’t be vulnerable. If you want to make a sale you have to appear as a trusted guru. Somehow, someway we have to do our best in these situations and not let on that we are vulnerable.
Confidence is a mix of feeling strong in surety that you have what you need to be successful whether that’s from knowledge, skill, strength and so on as well as having a big dose of trusting yourself. Knowledge and skills can be learned. Strength can be built. However, trusting yourself is all on you. Only you can decide you have enough trust in your abilities, knowledge and strength to do what is in front of you. Only you can trust you really have what it takes. It’s not easy sometimes to have that type of trust in ourselves especially if it is new or we’re in unchartered territory.
When we trust ourselves, others feel they can trust us. There is a clear feeling you get when someone trusts themselves and acts confidently because they are actually confident. This is comforting in a purchase situation because when there is trust you feel guided in making a choide. It is a totally different feeling when they are just acting confident. You can tell the new sales guy from the one who has done sales successfully for many years. When we make purchasing decisions we want to buy from someone we trust and that comes from you.
The hardest part for me in starting my own business was realizing I needed to change my messaging and approach from how I would do things in my regular job. I bring incredible leadership, organization, planning and executing skills to my business but I needed to learn to communicate differently. It was very challenging to me in realizing I couldn’t be as direct, firm, strong in my wording as I need to be in regular job. I was shocked people didn’t want to buy from someone who was giving it to them straight up! It isn’t though that they don’t like me being straight forward but that they need more of me too.
I needed to open the door for you to see who I really am, what my story is and what I bring to the table. You needed to see my softer side and that just wasn’t something I had been prepared for at all in my business. That’s not how corporate work typically is and I was taught not to show feelings, emotions or vulnerability so this was a big shift for me.
People are looking for the experience, story, relatability. They want to feel connected. This took me a long time to realize and some time to adjust because I wasn’t comfortable showing my softer side in a business. In your business you can open the door to be vulnerable. You can tell people you really don’t have it all figured out but this is what you have learned. Opening the door on our own vulnerability is a personal experience that is relatable, touchable and speaks to the heart of your potential customer. It is what sets you apart from every other sales person out there with your products.
I won’t lie to you there is competition in direct sales businesses. You are competing against everyone else who sells what you sell. That competition does not have to be ugly, cruel, standoffish or even combative though. You can actually share customers! You could actually refer customers to one another based on what someone is really good at that aligns to a customer’s needs. Very few people actually do that because we are so desperate for sales and volumes. At the end of the day we are each trying to build a successful business and each sale matters.
Here though is how that competition can be a positive experience. Your upline and the person who enrolled you need to set a positive tone in your team. Sure it’s ok to have some competitive games among all of you but the culture of that team should be collaborative, supportive, open and vulnerable. It should feel like a safe space you can bounce ideas off of each other, learn from each other and share in each other’s experiences. It should be welcoming, inclusive and personal. If it doesn’t then don’t enroll. If it doesn’t and you’re in it find a different team because you’re missing a huge part of the experience that is rewarding in direct sales.
For me, it doesn’t matter what team someone is on, we all sell and share doTERRA. We all have a common bond that can bring us together to help one another soar to great things. Collaboration can occur and honor competition in a positive and constructive way. This is how you gain real friendships,mentors and partnerships that can help you in your business. Being able to help one another and not fear losing clients to each other is powerful. Not many see that opportunity though because they are working in a scarcity mentality. Trust me there are still millions and billions of people in the world who want and need the products you offer. You won’t run out of customers I absolutely promise. Being desperate when a new customer comes along and fighting over it with another representative isn’t worth it.
Interested in more?
You can be confident and vulnerable. This is actually the formula for success in business. When you combine your skills with trust in yourself people will be naturally drawn to you and gone will be the desperate pushiness of sales. I highly recommend the audiobook by Brene Brown “The Power of Vulnerability” — Get it from Amazon here:
Starting your business with the right tools is equally important as having confidence and trust in yourself. My Choose Your Path packs give you a complete set of modern day direct sales tools that will help your business flourish. Get started today!