All this month I’ve been writing these posts about love, all forms and all types. From my own marriage to friendships and even my relationship with God it is all centered on love, but what is love exactly? We are all searching for it, hoping to find it in the sparkling soul of another but is it just a quest? When I think about how I define love it goes beyond feelings and how I feel physically and emotionally. Love is truly one of those things that is aligning, centering, balancing and above all completing.
What I know about love is sorted in so many ways. I think all of us can point to times when we haven’t felt loved in our lives. From abuse, mistreatment, unintentional hurt, death and just plain bad choices we have all had our hearts broken at some point. Love is one of these things that we search and search for and we can be quickly swept up in only to come crashing down.
What I know about love is even when we hurt there is sooner or later a time when we try again. We heal, even in the tiniest way, and we eventually see love again in our life. It comes in some form, in some relationship and in some bond we form with another, human, fur, spiritual or even with ourselves. It does come to all of us one day even when we think it never will.
People were made to love. Our entire being is centered on love so it is only natural that we would be drawn to things that are built on and formed in love. It is that connection through love that makes us feel complete in our own soul. We belong, we are included, we are connected. Without these feelings we often don’t see the beauty in life, feel the joy of special moments and lack that someone to share it all. What I know about love is that without it, even if it is with our own self, we will lack what we can see with our own eyes for how precious life truly is each day. Without someone to share it with we become uncertain of what is possible and more limited in what we see around us.
I often describe love as that perfect alignment of body, soul and mind where I feel like me. The me that doesn’t fit into some predefined role of wife, mom, employee, friend but is larger. It is ambiguous and free. It is the ability to speak my truth, express my opinion and feelings and feel un-judged by others and myself. It is being comfortable in my own skin to the point that I can wear what makes me feel good, say and do what I like and know that I am moving in a way that is honoring me. This type of love isn’t just the result of having a good marriage with a partner I feel comfortable with, it is how I feel about me. It is how I feel about the world and what fills my soul with purpose, focus, determination, intention and motivation. It is feeling free to let all those things about me come together in their own beautiful way and knowing the right people who understand, get and love me regardless of my flaws will be there for me.
What I know about love is it grows, evolves and is always changing. It is that butterfly in your stomach when you are about to have a first kiss or are holding hands in a new relationship. It is that declaration of love we express to another. Love is also when those new things turn into routine, habit and relationships that last. It is when the times get tough and you are fighting and crying to the point where you’re not sure it will last but deep, deep down inside you know it will. While love can break it can also be saved, renewed, rebuilt and salvaged even from the worst ugliness we can throw at it. Love is resilient when we ourselves allow our hearts to always stay part of what is going on in those moments of change and strife.
I often have felt tough to love. Over the hurts of my abusive childhood, failed relationships, friends and family who walked out of my life there’s been a lot of pain. At time it has made me uncertain about trusting, how to relate and even at time shut off. It has also however, formed my ability to learn to love myself and accept that I cannot change others. I cannot even though I want to so badly because I love them and need what that relationship provides me, what I think it should look like or what it should feel like. What I know is love cannot ever be a one-way street and you will never be able to dictate what it should look or feel like for if you do then you are not experiencing real love. It cannot be forced but rather it has to be allowed to flourish on its own and accepted when it isn’t what we thought it was or should have been. What I know about love is we cannot control it. It is a wildflower that we can allow in and we can only control what we allow in our own heart and let it teach us, form us and mold us while allowing it to be let go when it isn’t right for us anymore.
When I think of how I have healed my heart and allowed new love to flourish I realize it has always been part of my own life journey. Those times when I preferred to walk alone and fought against the loneliness angry and hurt to those times when I felt my heart bursting with joy and excitement of love that was found. It has all influenced me and continues to form me into who I am, what love I feel and what I share with others. What I really know about love is that it is always there whether we acknowledge it or not. It starts with us learning our own heart and be open to journey of life where we allow experiences, heal from the hurts and never end our quest for finding, sharing and growing love.
There are so many forms of love from the casual connection, deep long lasting relationship, our own love of self to our spiritual relationship with God. It all is love and it is all around us every day. Love truly is ever glowing in our being. I believe it is what makes our hearts beat and our minds to make the decisions we make. The power of connection is what love actually is. I sometimes struggle with how you define love and there really isn’t a household definition I have ever found that truly encompasses everything about love. Yet everyone knows about love and we all have it in some form in our life. At the core of love is that connection to something we cannot fully describe but we can all feel it and we know it when we have experienced it. What I know about love is because it is so complex we might miss the opportunity to experience it if we are not looking or we allow ourselves to remain shut off.
I invite you to explore the healing power of your heart this year and let love come through. Let it be renewed in your life and be open to the possibility of what it looks like, what it can be and how we can experience it more often in our days. Moving in love in all that you do and allowing love to flourish, mold and transform your life will truly change what this year can bring you. In my own journey I have found the doTERRA Passion and Forgive oils extremely helpful in peeling back what love is and what it looks like in my own life and heart. Allowing myself those moments of accepting what is and is not, forgiving and letting go is true power in healing and finding ways to experience all that love can bring.
To get what I use simply click here: dragonspitapothecary.com/love