Updated: Aug 28, 2019
As parents we always try to set the good example and guide our children on the path of knowing how to be kind and of service to others, to take care of themselves and live well while remaining humble. We want them to have a happy life and know the joys and blessings of being alive each day all the while knowing sometimes it will be harder than others to see and feel that joy,
Parenting is one of the hardest and noblest endeavors we can ever take on. While we want the best for our children and for them to be good humans we are ourselves imperfect. How then can one imperfect human teach another to be perfect? Better maybe but never perfect. It’s like parenting was taken straight out of some confusing yet simply ancient monk like philosophy. I have not learned this secret language or meaning of life at this point on my parenting journey.
In my opinion life will never be perfect. We struggle with feelings we don’t know how to deal with, complex relationship dynamics with others and ourselves. We are also continually learning and growing. Things, our planet and our space as well as us are always evolving. There simply isn’t any way to teach our children everything about the meaning of life and how to maximize it.
As a mom I know I have many shortcomings to being the best mom ever but my son loves me and I love him. I proudly love that he thinks I’m the best mom ever. That may or may not make me the best mom ever but that little boy makes my heart sing. I have never felt so humbled by the love of another as the moment when I became a mom. It was like a switch changed and I became so conscious of so much more than I ever gave a second thought too. Every decision and choice now impacted his life. Was it age appropriate? Was it good for him? Was it the right experience? What would he remember or learn from it?
This is us by the way going to the mom-son dance earlier this year.
A Mom Who is Still Likes to Feel Like the Perfect Girl
Like most women I have struggled with my weight over the years, at times feeling less than beautiful and worthy and other times when I lacked confidence, certainty and courage. It occurred to me that when I feel like that or express it in words those messages could and probably have reached him. He has never said anything about it nor at times do I think he may have understood what I said but children are perceptive.
In his eyes, he sees me as his beautiful mom even when I don’t feel like that. They know way more than we give credit for and are constantly learning from us. As a result, those criticisms of myself strewn causally and sometimes intentionally about my shape, hair, age, looks, wrinkles, smarts and so on are forming what he will one day use to choose which girls to date, be friends with and perhaps one day define what makes up his soulmate. The hefty weight of knowledge that I am influencing that by how I feel about myself, what I choose to wear and how I express my feelings about myself is tremendous.
Do I really want him to find girls who are only concerned with how they look, having perfect makeup and are super skinny sizes zero? Yes I realize he will have his own taste of what he considers attractive but that does start with what he learns from mom and dad. Is size, shape, clothes, and so on what defines beauty or pretty or being a good person who will love him, be his partner and raise their children? All because I was caught up in the pressure from society to be a certain size, wear my hair a certain way, wear clothes considered cool and so on instead of being my authentic self.
No pressure momma, you got this right?
I still like to look my best but what that means has changed now that I realize the impact I could be having on the inner message my son is forming. I’ve stopped at least verbally criticizing myself out loud for one thing which surprisingly has helped me feel better about myself too. How ironic is that?
The other thing is I’ve learned to start appreciating more about myself. I can’t very well shape his opinion of women if I am being uber harsh on myself all the time. This too has helped me feel lighter and less stressed which means I laugh and smile more and that always makes you look younger and feel better.
These oils have been a great help to me in this process of finding my authentic voice and letting my natural beauty out.
Wild Orange – is a beautiful oil that opens you to possibilities, new experiences and thoughts. I add it to my water and in a diffuser regularly.
Siberian Fir – is a hearty oil that helps us break patterns and change habits. That is a powerful process to change what you say about yourself regularly.
Grapefruit – I am always amazed at how much this particular oil can do for us mentally and physically. While I don’t enjoy eating grapefruits or even having grapefruit juice, this oil is fantastic! Not only does it help detox your body but it helps you work through self-care, uplift spirits and just feel good! Go Grapefruit!