Overcoming Self-Cruelty
Updated: Sep 4, 2019
Would you say any of these things to your best and closest friend?
You are too fat and old.
Nothing fits you right or Nothing looks good on you.
Your nose is too long/short/wide, you must have the bad nose in the family.
Your thighs rub together when your walk, that’s gross.
You don’t deserve that.
Look at you stuffing cake in your face like a common field cow.
Your ankles are “cankles.”
Your underarms flab harder than a goose in flight.
You can’t do that, you’re too old and will likely a hip and look a fool.
You don’t want your picture taken because you look horribly fat today.
Your hair is always so unruly.
WOW! Can you imagine the look on your friend’s face if you said any of these to her?
I hope she would think you were in need of immediate help or perhaps smack you back into your old kind self.
Chances are very likely she would be very hurt and your friendship with one another would not be as solid as it once was before these thing were said. You really cannot apologize your way out of some of these terrible comments.
What’s ironic is these very things that we wouldn’t dream of telling someone close to us are exactly the things we have no trouble whatsoever saying to and about ourselves.
That’s huge so I’m going to say it again.
We say these kinds of terrible things inside our head to and about ourselves regularly and don’t get it a second thought.
We have no problem trampling all over our very own feelings with these types of hurtful comments.
I do it.
You don’t have to admit it but I’m betting you do it too.
The thing about it is we can hurt ourselves just as much as we would hurt our best and closest friend by saying some of these very same things. Yet we do it anyway to ourselves ALL THE TIME!
Why don’t we treat ourselves as good as or even better than our own best friend?
We may have very well indeed put on some weight and are not comfortable at our current size but does that really make us so monstrous we feel it’s open season to say these types of hurtful things to ourselves?
Does the size of pants dictate our value as a person that the larger we get the less we are worthy, deserving, beautiful, desirable or even lovable?
Why We Need to be Nice to Ourselves
The relationship we have with ourselves is one of the most important relationships we will have in our lives. What we think about ourselves directly influences everything around us including our relationships with others.
If for instance we believe we are beautiful just as we are and we deserve a nice, loving, supportive partner then our likelihood of attracting, forming and maintaining such a relationship is probable and possible. If however, we don’t think we deserve this type of partner because we are not attractive, pretty, skinny or something else that is enough to deserve that, then we would not be open to seeing people we consider “out of our league” and could miss opportunities for having that type of relationship in our lives.
This same situation applies to every type of relationship we will ever have in our life from family, spouses, friends and even co-workers and beyond. What we think about ourselves and how we treat our self is so powerful that it will in fact influence our careers, major life decisions and even our day-to-day activities!
It is therefore very important we learn to talk nicely to and about ourselves and treat our hearts, minds, bodies and spirits just like we would someone we deeply love and care about.
How to Change Our Self-Talk
Grapefruit essential oil is called the “Oil of Self Love and Acceptance” or “Oil of Honoring The Body.” These loving titles, make this ordinary citrus oil sound like something special doesn’t it. Well, that’ because it is actually a very special oil that is unlike other citrus oils you may use.
Using this oil can help us reform and rebuild the relationship with ourselves and change how we speak to and about ourselves. Yes, that bright yellow-orange globe of citrus goodness when transformed into an essential oil becomes a salve to our bruised and tattered relationship we have going on inside of us.
Grapefruit is often used in diets because of its detoxification capabilities and beneficial aide in controlling appetite. While the essential oil of Grapefruit can also do that it also has many emotional support capabilities that go right to the heart of our poor body image.
Grapefruit essential oil is a support oil that helps us reform and build trust and confidence for our body, mind and heart. This incredible oil helps support the positive things we should all believe about ourselves physically, emotionally and spiritually no matter our waistline, scale number or nose angle.
Namely, that we are beautiful as we are, worthy, valuable and loved just as we are.
This oil works this way because it triggers our awareness of our self-esteem. We can work through emotional eating and behaviors that are detrimental in how we describe ourselves. We can feel supported and empowered to move forward in redefining our personal labels that are negative to ones that are more positive and encouraging.
Using this oil in a diffuser, topically and internally helps us work through negativity we feel about ourselves because it opens us to receive tolerance, patience and acceptance for us. It helps us take ownership of our feelings and feel supported in figuring out who we really are and our worth. We can use these newly formed beliefs about ourselves to initiate healthier habit building patterns like our relationship with food and stress highs.
Personal growth starts with having a healthy relationship with yourself and giving yourself the acceptance, love and support you need to pursue goals you set. Without that base in place then we will continue to follow our current habits and allowing these negative thoughts to trample our feelings and severely hurt the relationship we have with ourselves.
Fight for you and the relationship you need between your head, heart and spirit.
Interested in more?
It’s time to start being nice to yourself. I mean really nice from the inside-out. Start this year by introducing practices that will support you re-defining what you say and think about your body. It’s time to repair the relationship you have with yourself.
If you have questions about how grapefruit essential oil can help on this journey, please reach out.
amyk@dragonspitapothecary.com
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