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  • Writer's pictureamyk73

Protecting Self Love in the Real World

Updated: Sep 4, 2019

It’s one thing to talk about all the great things we want to achieve or intentions we want to honor about our lives but these things become a whole bunch more difficult when we leave the safety of personal bubble.

Reality is a harsh controller of our time, attention and energy. Between jobs, family and other obligations we can easily find all the work we’ve done setting boundaries around our need for self-love are just blown up like they were made out of nothing.

We cannot change or fix everything in our reality to have it perfectly harmonize with what we want in place for our self-love and care all the time. These two universally different dynamics will hardly ever be 100% in sync to support one another. Therefore, we have to be strong in our commitments and protecting of our boundaries. Some of you may call that setting priorities or balance. I think it is in fact some of that but also understanding the bigger picture of what’s going on in our lives.

When we can’t find that right mix of priorities and balance that’s when we find ourselves in situations of conflict and frustration which only cause us more stress and further implicates these harsh feelings we have about ourselves and that ultimately limit our self-love. Sooner or later, one side is going to win and be more dominate in that situation and most of the time, at least for me, it’s my self-care, love and boundaries that yield to the needs going on around me. I think that’s true for a lot of women who are taught we must care for those around us and go without ourselves sometimes.

Doing it All and Having it All

It won’t always be possible to have the ideal amount of time we’d like to take care ourselves against all the demands on our time and energy. Trying to cram everything into our day only ends with us feeling exhausted, overwhelmed and eventually burned out. I think giving yourself grace in these times is what still honors our self-esteem and self-love.

When we can’t balance it all I personally feel like I’m failing at everything. I feel guilty and harsh with myself that I’m not all that I’m supposed to be for myself and those I love. It’s incredibly hard to feel good about yourself in these situations.

The obligations and responsibilities in my life become very powerful. This long list of “should” and “must” dominate the energy I have and sometimes take over the time I know I should be carving out for myself.

Here’s what I’m finding does help though when I feel this way and helps me feel in control of what is dominating my attention:

Arborvitae – for when we feel obsessed with how things “should” instead of how they are


Patchouli – grounds us to live more in the moment and focus on what is in front of us


Geranium – support to our journey and ability to look ahead of how we can align our lives to our needs


The “Enough” Limit

When things just become too much I get mad and lash out. I know others who just shut down. We all know our limits and when they’ve been pressed on too much we all have a way of dealing with it. It’s what I call the “enough limit.”

We all have our own way of dealing with the situation of feeling caged by obligations and responsibilities to the point we don’t recognize ourselves anymore. However, when it reaches your “enough limit” then you know you are in the red zone and things have to change. It is time to rebalance the dynamics and put your foot down to realities demands. You have reached the point where your health is suffering, you’re stressed and burned out, you’re exhausted and you’re brain just can’t take on one more thing.

I encourage you, and as I write that I’m also talking to myself, that this year we work on claiming even just a small space to claim as our own. Maybe it’s only 5 minutes but we can make that the best 5 minutes of our entire day. This year protect your “enough limit” and all the areas that lead into it so you don’t reach that point.

Here’s what I’m recommending as armor and support in that challenge because trust me I know all about this enough limit and the feelings that come when things have pressed on it for way too long:


Did you know this wonderful spicy aroma is called the essential oil of inner strength? Using this oil in a diffuser or applying (diluted) to your skin gives you courage and strength to stand strong on the things you need to take action on. Now if we’re protecting our boundaries so we can have this precious 5 minutes to ourselves I want this oil at my side.



This oil is a confidence booster that allows you to gracefully exert confidence. When we are feeling overwhelmed or stressed or feel like we’re failing at everything in life, this is your go-to. The uplifting positive aroma let’s you reclaim your identity and feel confident that while you may not be able to do everything you can do what can confidently that you are doing what you can and letting go of the rest.



Grapefruit essential oil helps you take care of yourself – physically, emotionally and spiritually. This is the oil that says it’s time for you. You can feel in control to take that 5 minutes and know you have what you need to maximize that few minutes to your benefit.


Interested in more?

Let’s promise that this year we protect our “enough limit” so we don’t reach it. We have the tools to do that and apply some changes to our lives that will improve our balance so more self-love can exist.

If you have questions about the oils mentioned in this post or any others please reach out!

You can get all the oils in this post for at least 25% off with a wholesale membership. That membership is only $35 for the first year and $25 every year afterwards. Become a member today:

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