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Re-building Our Sex Interest

First I can’t believe I’m admitting this to anyone. Yet I know so many are like me and dealing with it in silent. In the little ways I’ve asked questions of my friends without openly admitting this I think most of us just don’t talk about it. No one wants to say it aloud. Or at least in what we are comfortable saying it’s not much but perhaps we’re too embarrassed to admit it even to our friends? That’s where I am at least … until you read this post today.

Deep breath and… go

I’m not loving sex.

As in my body is changing, I don’t feel good about how I look and I’m not interested in that. For a while now.

There it’s “out there” and I can’t believe I just said that “out loud.” I also just swore at the screen in disbelief I’m writing this stuff down.

I’ve done the normal things like fake it, ignore it and even went to my doctor. She prescribed birth control pills. They seemed to make it worse as in my menstrual cycle went from 3 to 4 days long to almost 2 weeks every month. I really didn’t want to have sex with feeling bloated and going through that on top of how I was already feeling. Was I just at that age where you don’t anymore? Is there an age and no one tells us that? Was I making too big a deal of this?

Then in talking with a couple friends hearing about how things were going and saying they too weren’t that into it, I realized something really important. They sounded stressed out, tired, not pretty and well not into it. That sounded very familiar to me too. I mean seriously most of us are craving our messy hair buns, chips and stretchy black yoga pants not lacy uncomfortable outfits and having to redo our makeup. Plus when you’re carrying extra weight nothing makes you feel more non-sexy. It doesn’t matter how much your lover says you’re gorgeous and loved if you don’t feel it or see it you don’t believe it.

I knew my problem included some hormonal changes I am experiencing but there was more to this problem going on inside my own mind. My mind was on errands, work chaos, homework and school challenges our son was having, bills that needed paying and well even normal stuff like the pile of laundry that needed to be done. How sad that I was thinking about laundry and my dirty house rather than getting it on. There used to be a time I would get them both done and have energy to spare. Given the choice it wouldn’t have been the laundry either. My friends sound the same way. It just wasn’t on the top of our list or mind.